Saturday, September 26, 2009

Trusting the Process...

A phrase I heard close to daily by faculty and students when I worked directly with the Leadership programs at RRU. Some days it was the winning phrase in Educational Bullshit Bingo… but other days it really did have some meaning. Right now I am working on my own personal and meaningful challenges where this has become the answer. I’m rather frustrated right now that I don’t have things exactly as I would like them – particularly on the home front. It hit me hard when I was pregnant and it’s hitting me a lot again lately – I really wish I had a home of our own for me and Kaia. Unfortunately that isn’t working out right now as I still have a bunch of debt (for way too many things) that I’m working on paying off. Not to mention staying on top of the normal day to day expenses for a single mom and a growing toddler. As much as I am learning to live without a lot of things… there are a lot of required expenses for KEW and myself. Sooo… finding money for a down payment and to know I can cover the monthly mortgage and household bills… well it just isn’t in the stars right now. So what do I tell myself when I get down and sad and angry and bitter – trust the process. Everything happens when it is supposed to and to who it is supposed to happen to. There is a lesson in all of this for me… so I have to move on from the feelings and find the truth behind it all. I think the hardest part of all of that trusting of process “stuff” is not to lose the dream.

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