Why?

It has taken me a few weeks to really see the facts.

A lot of questions have been asked.

I have provided a lot of answers.

There is no end in sight.

It’s true… KEW and A have hit the “but why?” phase of life.

{heavy sigh}

I honestly didn’t realize it was happening as I am so used to KEW asking questions – a lot of questions. Enquiring minds want to know EVERYTHING! It wasn’t until just recently when a friend was mentioning how the “why” questions were driving her crazy that I started to make the connection. Yup - a lot of KEW’s questions where focused on why.

So far I have been lucky in that she is accepting of most of my answers and not continuing to ask why over and over again. I am, however, preparing myself for that day when I will have to respond with the classic “because, that’s why!”

And I’m not even thinking of the day when she is going to ask me where babies come from!

Or if she can go on a date.

And definitely not letting her go on a date if those two questions happen at the same time!

The Change Cliché

That old saying about a change being as good as a rest has been powering through my head for the last while. I do agree with the sentiment… up to a point. After that point, change itself is exhausting! I have gone through a whole whack of changes over the last 6 months – from moving houses (twice) to significant changes at work and everything in between. When changes are happening in both the personal and professional world it can be overwhelming… and I am getting very close to that point!

The personal changes have, for the most part, been great and all for the right reasons. Moving has been a wonderful step forward, KEW’s new daycare is absolutely AMAZING and the little changes in routine and life with KEW are all a part of her growing up. As much as it is hard to see your baby grow, it is also rewarding and exciting. Ya ya, it can be pretty challenging to… and I know that I’m only getting a glimpse in to what lays ahead!

The work changes have been a lot more of a challenge. One of my bosses left in July which has its pros and cons…but our team is working through them and I think we’re doing pretty good. My other boss has only been gone for a week now and this one has/is a lot harder. I worked closely with him for 5 years and have known him for over 10. He has been a mentor and a friend so he is going to be missed. I fear that the chaos and huge workload for his backfill is going to create a lot of challenges over the coming months. And now, to top that off, I am being moved to a different office on campus. I think this is going to be one of the biggest changes for me to manage. I will be working in a totally new environment (the first time sharing an office in around 8 years), working closer with people that I haven’t been physically close to for a while and being away from others. My work style will have to change as a result, and that will take a lot of effort and energy.

Right now, I don’t feel like I will be getting the “rest” part of the change cliché.

Review Time – Treehouse Shampoo and Bubbles

I will admit it right up front… I am pleasantly surprised by the Treehouse line of kid’s bath products produced by Nature Clean. Sure, it made me a little angry that the display of products is a kid eye level and full of bright colors and characters like Pablo and Ruby. It makes is REALLY hard to say no to your kid who is clambering for a bottle of anything with a Backyardigan on it.

But I’ve been turned… all is good. I read the fine print and was thrilled to see a product that is vegan and not tested on animals – woo hoo! I have tried to find kid friendly and animal friendly products over the last few years… and now I have some that my girl actually WANTS to use! Bath time has never been a real challenge, but the hair washing part has been known to be less than fun. Tonight however was a different case.

First I added the Max and Ruby Berry Bubbles and they smelled great. After some play time in the good pile of bubbles, it was time for the real work. The Pablo 2 in 1 shampoo was pulled out and KEW had no hesitation to get all lathered up! So thank you Treehouse and Nature Clean. Thank you for working together to take care of our kids and our planet.

Today I Learned...

… that I don’t know how to peel an orange. I’m not a huge orange fan as I just can’t handle the white stuff. It’s part of my whole texture thing when it comes to food. I like oranges themselves, but the hour it takes me to clean them up just isn’t worth it.

Anyhow, KEW asked for some oranges when we were shopping… so I picked up a couple of nice big navel oranges. After dinner I pulled one out and tried to pull back the peel… to no avail (that was one tough peel!). Then I remembered that I had one of those Tupperware orange peelers somewhere in a drawer. After a couple of tries I managed to get the thing to make a cut in the peel… but then I had to improvise to get the peel actually off of the orange. I literally did not know what I was supposed to do with the fracking peeler and the orange! I loved the orange scent in the kitchen and that was probably the only thing keeping me sane!

After about 10 minutes I did manage to get the peel off of the orange enough for KEW to start chowing down… but I was still feeling rather incompetent. I guess this is one skill that I won’t be passing on to my daughter. Do you think they offer classes in this somewhere?

Gratitude Project

I have decided to participate in a Gratitude Project through Facebook. A friend and coworker did this before and has started it up again with perfect timing during this Thanksgiving season. It is very simple – at least once a day you post something that you are grateful for in your status.

I have to admit, this already has me thinking of things more positively and it has only been a day. When something good happens, I am already making a stronger mental note of the thing/situation/person/action/whatever so I can update my status. OK, so maybe it is because I am a little competetive... or a little too Type A... but whatever it takes!

The power of positive thinking really is amazing… not only can it change a mood (your own or others), but it draws to it like energy. So a big heads up to the world – put your best foot forward, because for the next month, that’s what I’m going to be doing!

What is in a name?

Every day I am a little less Mama and a lot more Mommy. It doesn’t sound like much, but it feels like a major shift in my relationship with my daughter. Every day she is less the little baby who NEEDS me and is more and more the big girl who wants to (and can) “do it MYSELF”.

It feels strange to be referred to by a different name. I am already wondering when I will become Mom and what that relationship shift will entail! I’ve heard the name already, but only every once in a while. It is usually the two syllable version: Maw-ohm. We all know what that sounds like – mostly because we have uttered those same syllables to our own mothers!

Now let’s just hope that I don’t hear the “Mu-ther” name too often!

Enough

Today I had a bad day. It was a bad day for me and a bad day with KEW. These kinds of days aren’t fun and they can take some time to work through. I know they happen to every parent, but today was sticking with me in a different way. I’ve had a few people tell me lately that being a single parent is no different from a couple raising a child. I always try to be polite when I hear those kinds of statements… but today was the kind of day that makes me ready to fight back and say “Really?”

Today was one of those days when I really could have used another person there as a buffer. I needed someone else to listen to the whines and the whys. I needed someone else to help with the chores. I needed someone else be there so I could go to the washroom without an audience or so that I could shower without someone begging me to hurry up so they could get help with the shoe that was stuck. I needed someone else there so I could walk away from the frustration for 5 minutes and not leave my child alone. But most of all, I needed someone there for me.

You see, that is the big difference between being a single parent and being in a couple – the alone part. Even if you are the one in the relationship who does ALL of the chores and ALL of the child rearing “stuff” (and c’mon, really? If your partner doesn’t help out all ALL, then you need to have a talk)… you aren’t alone. You have another adult to talk to. You have someone else there who can help you feel better when you are in the dumps. You have someone else there who loves you. For you see, being a single parent isn’t just about raising your child alone… it also means that you have moments of being lonely.

So let’s be clear now.

I’m putting it out there.

ENOUGH with trying to tell me that “there really is no difference”.