Sunday, October 10, 2010


Today I had a bad day. It was a bad day for me and a bad day with KEW. These kinds of days aren’t fun and they can take some time to work through. I know they happen to every parent, but today was sticking with me in a different way. I’ve had a few people tell me lately that being a single parent is no different from a couple raising a child. I always try to be polite when I hear those kinds of statements… but today was the kind of day that makes me ready to fight back and say “Really?”

Today was one of those days when I really could have used another person there as a buffer. I needed someone else to listen to the whines and the whys. I needed someone else to help with the chores. I needed someone else be there so I could go to the washroom without an audience or so that I could shower without someone begging me to hurry up so they could get help with the shoe that was stuck. I needed someone else there so I could walk away from the frustration for 5 minutes and not leave my child alone. But most of all, I needed someone there for me.

You see, that is the big difference between being a single parent and being in a couple – the alone part. Even if you are the one in the relationship who does ALL of the chores and ALL of the child rearing “stuff” (and c’mon, really? If your partner doesn’t help out all ALL, then you need to have a talk)… you aren’t alone. You have another adult to talk to. You have someone else there who can help you feel better when you are in the dumps. You have someone else there who loves you. For you see, being a single parent isn’t just about raising your child alone… it also means that you have moments of being lonely.

So let’s be clear now.

I’m putting it out there.

ENOUGH with trying to tell me that “there really is no difference”.

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