Ever Swallow A Razor Blade?

I felt the moment when it hit.

I was talking a lot in a meeting and one of those words came out a little worbally.

Razor Blade Throat.

I'm not sure that it is an official medical condition... but we all know what it feels like. And what it means.

Yup... I'm getting sick.

I will fight this bugger like crazy though! Hot honey and lemon, tons of Vitamin D and lots and lots of Vitamin C. Lots of water and plenty of rest.

Plenty of rest... right. Going to bed now.

A new KEW & A Feature - Quotable KEW!

I have started a book to document all of the crazy/cute/funny/memorable/adorable/scary things that KEW says... so I am going to start sharing them.

This week, I am going to start with what can appropriately be called "Single Ladies".

This past weekend I pulled a few music video clips up on You Tube. The first was by Willow Smith, Will and Jada's daughter. I had just read a review of her song and video... so wanted to check it out. Not a bad little video or song... but it freaks the crap out of me that she is only NINE!

I also pulled up Beyonce's "Single Ladies". The review of Willow's video made a reference to the dance style in SL... so it made me want to see the video again as I haven't seen it in ages. KEW loved it... we had to play it over a few times as she was grooving to the tunes.

Cut to a few hours later while we are grocery shopping at Thrifty's. Sure enough... what song is playing? But of course - "Single Ladies". KEW noticed right away and made reference to the song. Then, as we are cruising through the veggie section, KEW asks "Mommy, why does she want a ring on it?"

Why indeed my child.... why indeed.

Halloween Horror

Halloween started off great… but finished worse than I ever could have imagined.

KEW had a blast at the Saturday play date at Tumblebums. They did an amazing job there of having Halloween activities for the little ones that were safe and fun. Face painting was a huge hit for KEW since she was able to become a kitty… again (and still). We got a fun filled (and candy free) loot bag to take home that is still providing entertainment. All was good for Saturday.

Sunday, Halloween, was not upon us. We managed to get a bit of a sleep in, which I am still thankful for. A lazy morning ensued since we didn’t have anywhere to go for the day. KEW & A had the usual pancake breakfast and some toons on the TV – a weekend tradition. We followed that with some pumpkin carving, which of course included more of the regular kitty cat theme around here as one of the pumpkins was carved with a cat face. Dora the Explorer noodles for lunch and all was still good.

The afternoon nap didn’t actually happen, but KEW did give it a good try. She was just too excited for the whole Trick or Treat thing… and to get in to that princess dress! We settled for a bit of quiet time and play and then for an early bubble bath. This gave me the opportunity to get her hair wet in preparation for the curlers – I was hoping for a big curly princess doo!

On went the pink house coat and time for hair curlers! KEW sat so still and was so patient with the whole process. I was thrilled… and in shock. We had done a quick trial run on Saturday morning, which went pretty well, but this was amazing. This kid never sits still… or at least not when you want her to! Her excitement over the princess set up took over… it felt like she wanted to be a princess in every way possible! She would gently touch the curlers, but only had to be told once not to play with them or they would fall out. I’m still in awe of this. My kid might be in curlers more often!


Dinner… well, not surprisingly, did not go well. Trying to get some food in this kid was a challenge… there was just way too much excitement. She managed to get two bites of lasagna down and I’m not going to talk about the third bite.

Next up – the costume!!! I put on layers including a t-shirt, sweater and long sleeve shirt along with some pants to be topped off by THE dress. Well I couldn’t quite get the dress over her curlers (was trying to leave them in as long as possible) so we had to take them out. Her hair wasn’t totally dry so we used the hair dryer a bit. KEW was not too thrilled with the noise or the heat… so that didn’t last long. Finally I had to admit defeat and take the curlers out. There was more body to her hair than normal… and we did get one really good ringlet like curl on the side… but ultimately not the curls I was hoping for. KEW didn’t notice or care… so all was still good! Besides, getting those curlers out meant she could get the dress on!

Hair – check.
Dress – check.
Tiara – check.
Princess boots – check.
Purple glitter hearts on her cheeks – check.
Princess flashlight – check.
Princess treat bag – check.
Many pictures – check.

We were ready to roll!

Off we went over to Grandma and Grandpa’s house to make an appearance and to pick up Grandma to join us for the fun (Grandpa stayed home to give out treats). Then back to the hood to make the round of houses. I didn’t expect to go as far as we did, but KEW was having a blast and instead of the traditional “Trick or Treat” when the door opened, she went for “Boo”! Needless to say a purple and pink princess wasn’t too scary… but many on the other side of the door played along which added to the fun.

After taking Grandma back home we were in to wind down mode and attempting to get ready for bed. One treat from the goody bag (the one and only Reese’s Peanut Butter cup) and then in to the tub to attempt to get the glitter off (you can only attempt to get glitter off as it has more staying power than Donnie Osmond). KEW was starting to get tired… the lack of nap, food and extra excitement was taking its toll. Off she went to bed with not much of the usual stall… but definitely later than “normal”. All was good… for now.

Later that evening the real horror began. KEW woke around 1am and was not happy. She came to Mama’s bed to try to get back to sleep and feel safe. Unfortunately sleep was not happening. She tossed and turned and kicked and fidgeted and fussed and cried and screamed and cried and did I mention that she screamed? And cried? She could not settle and was so afraid… of something.

It took a while, but she finally started talking about the monsters in her room – under her bed and in her closet. So you might think this is a whole post Halloween trauma… but it’s not. I blame this 100% on a show called ‘Toopy and Binoo’. I dislike this show… a lot. On any given day this show makes me a little bonkers… but KEW likes it, so I tolerate it. Treehouse is generally a great station for toddlers/preschoolers… but not on Sunday. They aired an episode of T&B that wasn’t even Halloween themed… but was all about finding the home for the little monster that they found. They checked with the monster in the closet.
And the monster under the bed.
And the monster in the toy box.
And so on.
Monsters! Monsters! Monsters!

Did they forget that little ones have an active imagination and already think there are monsters in their room? Did they really think that a cartoon talking about all of the monsters in a bedroom was a GOOD idea?

Freaks.

They are SOOOOOOO getting a letter from this frustrated Mama!

Dairy Free - Round Two

Alrighty… dairy kicked my ass in round 1 as I tried October 1st to go dairy free again. I’ve done it before and know I can do it again… but October was not a good month to be without my comfort food. So here I am approaching the beginning of another new month and thinking that it is time for round 2… and I’m optimistic this time. Yes, things are still rather stressful and full of change… but too much dairy isn’t helping matters.

It’s not that I am officially allergic to dairy or anything like that… but it isn’t good for me or to me. After I eat dairy I generally feel like crap and have less energy than I started. Not to mention the huge fat content in dairy! I’m not a milk drinker… and I’ve managed to cut out yogurt for a while now… my nemesis is cheese. Ok, maybe chocolate too. Just the thought of a big slice of cheesy pizza makes me smile - the lump in my stomach and the bloated feeling afterwards… not so much. And yes… Dr.Bovee was right when she told me that a dairy free lifestyle will greatly reduce my menstrual cramps. It worked the last time I went dairy free… so that alone should be incentive enough! Or at least save me some money on Advil!

Ok, so here goes again… cheese, thanks for the good times… see you around sometime.

Smarty Pants

So on Wednesday evening when I was picking up KEW from daycare, one of the gals says to me “She is so smart, sometimes it scares us.” Whew… good to know that I’m not alone with that sentiment. Ok, I know, every parent has a beautiful and bright child. But really, I’m not talking about this to brag or to boast… but to tell you how much this scares me!

KEW is a smart cookie… and oh, how amazingly observant she is! She has also been nick named the ‘Hall Monitor’ for a while now as she doesn’t hesitate to tell anyone and everyone what the rules are and how they are being broken. She is often a little organizer (ya ya, I know where she gets THAT from) and she doesn’t hesitate to tell you how she’s feeling or what she knows or what she sees (ok, I get it)… but the kid is only 2 ½ years old! Since it is just KEW and me on the home I really feel most days like this is how all toddler/preschoolers behave. But I’m learning more and more that this isn’t necessarily the case!

Ok, back to why this scares me. As a parent, it is my job to help her learn and grow and become a wonderful person. That she wants to learn and picks up on everything around her to advance is a great thing. But wait - what if I’m not doing enough? What if I am not controlling my own bad habits and have now passed them on to her? Is she balanced enough and getting a chance to get the people smarts as well as the book smarts? Will she throw a baseball “like a girl” or like a ball player? How to I make sure to continue to stimulate her so she does develop… and not become bored and frustrated with learning? There are so many things that we do… and so many more that we don’t do… and this unwritten competition among parents to ensure their kids can do it all adds even more to the pressure!

ARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok, it’s out there… I’ve said it. I’m sure most parents have these same worries… but honestly, it feels way too often that there is a script of what we parents are or aren’t allowed to say or do to raise the perfect child. Most days I’m doing all we can to make it from beginning to end. But man oh man… I so want her to have all she deserves and learn everything that the world has to offer. For now, it seems to be working for us, so I have to cross my fingers that it continues!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

While dropping off KEW at Gingerbread this morning a small group of the girls were talking about bedtime stuff and one mentioned that she snuck in to her parents’ bed to sleep the night before. I said that KEW did that last night too. Then one of the girls said she did too and asked the last little girl if she snuck in to her Mommy and Daddy’s bed. To which she answered “My Daddy doesn’t live with me any more.” The other girl responded, without missing a beat, “Oh, then just your Mommy’s bed?”

I was a little stunned, and honestly… impressed. These little 3 and 4 year olds are wise beyond their years. It doesn’t faze them to have different family set ups… it is just ok and normal. I guess it could be considered sad that there are so many non-traditional families out there that this is somewhat normal now. But I am trying to look on the bright side and see that these kids aren’t picking this as a point for others to be noted as “different”.

It is so different from what I grew up around that it doesn’t feel normal to me. Families are so many things now… which is really a good thing… just different. I don’t want KEW to feel different because of our set up… so I think I’m over sensitive and careful about the expectations of her and others.

Explaining to KEW about why our family is different has and continues to be one of those things that I think about and worry about ever once in a while. She has never said anything about a Daddy… and so far doesn’t seem to care. Maybe she won’t ask for a while… as none of the other kids seem to be concerned about who has what when it comes to parents. I know I will have to talk about it one day… but after today I’m thinking that she is growing up in such an accepting environment that perhaps it isn’t going to be as tough of a conversation as I originally thought!

Afraid? Not me!

I just turned 39 this past weekend. And according to a lot of people out there this is my last good year as I’m so rapidly approaching 40!

Queue the “dun dun dun” evil music!

Really?
Honestly?
What is so scary about 40? Is someone going to come and visit me and take away all of the joy from my life? Does my time with chocolate expire at 40?

I must say that the thought of 40 doesn’t scare me. In fact, getting older all together doesn’t scare me nearly as much as it did at 27. Yes… 27 was my scary year… being in my late 20’s freaked the crap out of me. And turning 30 wasn’t so great… but I spent a lot of money on a piece of jewelry and that did make me feel better. Heading towards 40… meh, I’m not so worried.

Sure, at 39 I can no longer drink like I did in my 20’s… but now I drink the good wine and martinis instead of toxic Long Island Iced Teas and evil shooters.

At 39 I cherish every moment of sleep and get up at 5:30am to get ready for work… not like the days in my 20’s when going to sleep at 5:30am to catch a few hours before work was enough.

Now at 39 I look for sales on things like toilet paper, diapers and chicken nuggets. When I was 20 I don’ think I thought much about sales unless they were connected to cocktails!

At 39 my clothes don’t fit like they did in my 20’s… but now I really do understand that it’s what is on the inside that counts. Ok... I do admit that a great pair of shoes helps… a bit.

So c’mon 40 - I’m not afraid of you! I’ve worked hard these last 39 years and 2 days to learn a lot about life and the world and ultimately myself. I’ve gotten better with age and I don’t plan on stopping any time soon!

I've Come A Long Way Baby!

There was a time… not so many years ago… that the thought of getting a shot made me queasy. When I had knee surgery in high school I never did have the pre-surgery check up and I didn’t say anything as I knew a blood test was supposed to be a part of that check up. I recall one time getting ready for the flu shots at work and I was literally on the verge of tears from fear.

In 2005 I got a Deep Vein Thrombosis also known as a DVT also know as a blood clot. This meant a LOT of blood tests and a LOT of shots while an out patient and on blood thinners.

In 2007 I got pregnant and the doctors decided that due to my DVT history I needed to be on a daily dose of blood thinners to prevent another clot during the pregnancy. As the oral blood thinners would pass through to the baby, this mean the doses had to be administered by injection. Since I was on my own, this mean I would be responsible for the injections. Yup – a shot once a day until the last month… and then twice a day.

Needless to say, I got a lot better with the whole needles thing. At the end of 2008 I even worked up the courage to go to acupuncture. Getting a shot is one thing… but lying there on a bed with needles stuck in all over… whoa. Not only were the needles a little creepy… but I honestly wondered what good they could do. Nearly 2 years later I am a firm believer in the help of acupuncture.

Dr.Bovee (my naturopath and acupuncturist) is amazing. She is a fabulous Doctor and has helped with many things – easy to talk to and has an array of suggestions and solutions. But even more impressive to me is how I can talk about something that is bothering me and she can work it in to the session and hit spots with amazing accuracy. I know, I know… that is her job and what she went to many years of school for… but you have to see and feel it to believe it. Whether it is a stuffed up nose or a sore back or some swelling in my DVT leg or stress or raging hormones and emotions… she knows the spots and finds the spots and occasionally makes me peep and cry out. I’ve had to breathe through a few spots that were especially sensitive… but in the end, I can feel the difference and know it is worth it. The biggest challenge I have with each and every session is keeping my nervous bladder in check so that I can lie still and relax for more than 20-30 minutes!

TSNTP - Roxy

A while ago a friend posted on her blog about a TSN Turning Point in her life. This made me start to think of some of the pivotal points in my life. Moments when you knew something was going to change – good, bad or otherwise. Although the moment I’m going to share now isn’t the first changing moment in my life… it is one that is standing clear in my mind at this time… so here goes.

In 2000 I started working at Royal Roads University and there will be a TSN Turning Point blog for that whole change another time. I started there in a position called a Senior Learning Support Associate. I know, what the heck does that mean? Well, it wasn’t really clear to anyone what distinguished between the ranks of admin staff at the university, so they had struck a committee with HR and other admin staff in that rank to try and work through a process for advancement for staff. I honestly don’t remember much about the meetings or who else was on the committee… but I do remember my dear friend that we’ll call Roxy.

Roxy is one of those people who I connected with right away. Smart and funny and not afraid to speak her mind – a woman I could respect, admire and befriend. Since I was the newbie in the place I didn’t have as much to contribute (or at least wasn’t sure if I had much to contribute), but I remember her making me feel welcome. I can remember the moment coming out of one of the meetings on the third floor of the castle and stopping at the top of the circular staircase (she was going down a floor, I was continuing to the end of the hall). We were touching base about the meeting and then chatting. When we finished the conversation I remember saying to myself “I like her. I think we are going to get along great.”

I can’t tell you the exact moment we became such good friends, but I can tell you that as of today I consider her one of my best friends. She is loyal, hardworking, passionate and funny as hell. She loves books and animals more than anyone I know. She is smart as a whip but way too humble about it. She has the best shoe collection ever and makes me jealous of her amazing ability to walk around in 3-5 (or 6?) inch heels without nary a stumble or a complaint. She has a personality that draws a crowd… all the while wishing she was home with her books and her family (dogs, cats and D – in no specific order) around a roaring fire. We can easily go days (weeks?) without talking because we get too caught up in life… but then pick right up without a problem. If I ever have to get in to a fight, I pick her for my team. Best of all, she didn’t kick me out of the club when I told her MY big life changing news.

People like this don’t come in to your life often. The good this is that I know no matter where we are in the world… she will always be a part of my life.

‘Cause she knows I’ll hunt her down if she tries to hide!

Really? You're Gonna Charge Me For THAT?!?!

Wednesday morning I got in to Gigi the Wonder Jeep to have the tire pressure sensor going off and telling me a back tire was low. So ok, I can deal with this, I will stop at the Co-op on the way in to work and after dropping KEW at Gingerbread. I can put air in a tire… easy. Pull up, find the air and water station, put a whack of air in the tire, turn Gigi back on and yup, sensor is happy again.

Cut to end of day and me needing to go to acupuncture. Grandma is picking up KEW from Gingerbread, so I don’t need to rush like a mad woman this time. Turn on the Jeep and low and behold… the sensor is going off – again. Alrighty then… I must have a slow leak. No worries I think, there is a Petro Canada just down the road and on the way, so I can stop in to get some more air for the rest of my trip and until I can change the tire. I pull in, find the air and water station and see the sign about the price. The what? Yes, you read that correctly… they wanted a loonie (or four quarters) to get some air. Uh huh… you are being charged to use their machine.

Sweet Baby Jesus – is it not enough that I pay a buck-ten to get gas nowadays? Now you want to charge me for air? And no… don’t tell me how it’s all about the taxes and you gas stations are barely getting any cut of the fees. Y’all are stinking filthy rich. And did I mention greedy? Gone is the SERVICE station where you used to purchase gas and snacks and whatever you might need at that moment. What we have left is a cash grabbing gas station who will gladly give you some points on a pretty red card if you buy gas or “stuff” from them… but who won’t give you free air.

Sorry… I should clarify… Petro Canada is the greedy cash grabbing station. I drove off (since I wouldn’t pay for the air, even if I did have a loonie on me) and managed to make it to the next Co-Op station where I got some free air… and then barely made it to my appointment on time. So to Co-op, you’ve got my gas business… and perhaps the odd Slushie drink or two. Petro Canada… you will not see me buying gas or “stuff” from you again. Don't you know... air is FREE in Canada!

Why?

It has taken me a few weeks to really see the facts.

A lot of questions have been asked.

I have provided a lot of answers.

There is no end in sight.

It’s true… KEW and A have hit the “but why?” phase of life.

{heavy sigh}

I honestly didn’t realize it was happening as I am so used to KEW asking questions – a lot of questions. Enquiring minds want to know EVERYTHING! It wasn’t until just recently when a friend was mentioning how the “why” questions were driving her crazy that I started to make the connection. Yup - a lot of KEW’s questions where focused on why.

So far I have been lucky in that she is accepting of most of my answers and not continuing to ask why over and over again. I am, however, preparing myself for that day when I will have to respond with the classic “because, that’s why!”

And I’m not even thinking of the day when she is going to ask me where babies come from!

Or if she can go on a date.

And definitely not letting her go on a date if those two questions happen at the same time!

The Change Cliché

That old saying about a change being as good as a rest has been powering through my head for the last while. I do agree with the sentiment… up to a point. After that point, change itself is exhausting! I have gone through a whole whack of changes over the last 6 months – from moving houses (twice) to significant changes at work and everything in between. When changes are happening in both the personal and professional world it can be overwhelming… and I am getting very close to that point!

The personal changes have, for the most part, been great and all for the right reasons. Moving has been a wonderful step forward, KEW’s new daycare is absolutely AMAZING and the little changes in routine and life with KEW are all a part of her growing up. As much as it is hard to see your baby grow, it is also rewarding and exciting. Ya ya, it can be pretty challenging to… and I know that I’m only getting a glimpse in to what lays ahead!

The work changes have been a lot more of a challenge. One of my bosses left in July which has its pros and cons…but our team is working through them and I think we’re doing pretty good. My other boss has only been gone for a week now and this one has/is a lot harder. I worked closely with him for 5 years and have known him for over 10. He has been a mentor and a friend so he is going to be missed. I fear that the chaos and huge workload for his backfill is going to create a lot of challenges over the coming months. And now, to top that off, I am being moved to a different office on campus. I think this is going to be one of the biggest changes for me to manage. I will be working in a totally new environment (the first time sharing an office in around 8 years), working closer with people that I haven’t been physically close to for a while and being away from others. My work style will have to change as a result, and that will take a lot of effort and energy.

Right now, I don’t feel like I will be getting the “rest” part of the change cliché.

Review Time – Treehouse Shampoo and Bubbles

I will admit it right up front… I am pleasantly surprised by the Treehouse line of kid’s bath products produced by Nature Clean. Sure, it made me a little angry that the display of products is a kid eye level and full of bright colors and characters like Pablo and Ruby. It makes is REALLY hard to say no to your kid who is clambering for a bottle of anything with a Backyardigan on it.

But I’ve been turned… all is good. I read the fine print and was thrilled to see a product that is vegan and not tested on animals – woo hoo! I have tried to find kid friendly and animal friendly products over the last few years… and now I have some that my girl actually WANTS to use! Bath time has never been a real challenge, but the hair washing part has been known to be less than fun. Tonight however was a different case.

First I added the Max and Ruby Berry Bubbles and they smelled great. After some play time in the good pile of bubbles, it was time for the real work. The Pablo 2 in 1 shampoo was pulled out and KEW had no hesitation to get all lathered up! So thank you Treehouse and Nature Clean. Thank you for working together to take care of our kids and our planet.

Today I Learned...

… that I don’t know how to peel an orange. I’m not a huge orange fan as I just can’t handle the white stuff. It’s part of my whole texture thing when it comes to food. I like oranges themselves, but the hour it takes me to clean them up just isn’t worth it.

Anyhow, KEW asked for some oranges when we were shopping… so I picked up a couple of nice big navel oranges. After dinner I pulled one out and tried to pull back the peel… to no avail (that was one tough peel!). Then I remembered that I had one of those Tupperware orange peelers somewhere in a drawer. After a couple of tries I managed to get the thing to make a cut in the peel… but then I had to improvise to get the peel actually off of the orange. I literally did not know what I was supposed to do with the fracking peeler and the orange! I loved the orange scent in the kitchen and that was probably the only thing keeping me sane!

After about 10 minutes I did manage to get the peel off of the orange enough for KEW to start chowing down… but I was still feeling rather incompetent. I guess this is one skill that I won’t be passing on to my daughter. Do you think they offer classes in this somewhere?

Gratitude Project

I have decided to participate in a Gratitude Project through Facebook. A friend and coworker did this before and has started it up again with perfect timing during this Thanksgiving season. It is very simple – at least once a day you post something that you are grateful for in your status.

I have to admit, this already has me thinking of things more positively and it has only been a day. When something good happens, I am already making a stronger mental note of the thing/situation/person/action/whatever so I can update my status. OK, so maybe it is because I am a little competetive... or a little too Type A... but whatever it takes!

The power of positive thinking really is amazing… not only can it change a mood (your own or others), but it draws to it like energy. So a big heads up to the world – put your best foot forward, because for the next month, that’s what I’m going to be doing!

What is in a name?

Every day I am a little less Mama and a lot more Mommy. It doesn’t sound like much, but it feels like a major shift in my relationship with my daughter. Every day she is less the little baby who NEEDS me and is more and more the big girl who wants to (and can) “do it MYSELF”.

It feels strange to be referred to by a different name. I am already wondering when I will become Mom and what that relationship shift will entail! I’ve heard the name already, but only every once in a while. It is usually the two syllable version: Maw-ohm. We all know what that sounds like – mostly because we have uttered those same syllables to our own mothers!

Now let’s just hope that I don’t hear the “Mu-ther” name too often!

Enough

Today I had a bad day. It was a bad day for me and a bad day with KEW. These kinds of days aren’t fun and they can take some time to work through. I know they happen to every parent, but today was sticking with me in a different way. I’ve had a few people tell me lately that being a single parent is no different from a couple raising a child. I always try to be polite when I hear those kinds of statements… but today was the kind of day that makes me ready to fight back and say “Really?”

Today was one of those days when I really could have used another person there as a buffer. I needed someone else to listen to the whines and the whys. I needed someone else to help with the chores. I needed someone else be there so I could go to the washroom without an audience or so that I could shower without someone begging me to hurry up so they could get help with the shoe that was stuck. I needed someone else there so I could walk away from the frustration for 5 minutes and not leave my child alone. But most of all, I needed someone there for me.

You see, that is the big difference between being a single parent and being in a couple – the alone part. Even if you are the one in the relationship who does ALL of the chores and ALL of the child rearing “stuff” (and c’mon, really? If your partner doesn’t help out all ALL, then you need to have a talk)… you aren’t alone. You have another adult to talk to. You have someone else there who can help you feel better when you are in the dumps. You have someone else there who loves you. For you see, being a single parent isn’t just about raising your child alone… it also means that you have moments of being lonely.

So let’s be clear now.

I’m putting it out there.

ENOUGH with trying to tell me that “there really is no difference”.

Icky

I have wonderful intentions of updating the blog and FB with pics and stories of the beach and the birthday party... but it ain't happening! I feel crummy... a bit of a fever, chest cold like symptoms, tired, a cough starting - all those icky things! And the people at CBS have messed me up by putting Survivor on a Wednesday night instead of the usual Thursday. So I am going to go and get some liquids and crawl in to bed. And try to watch Survivor... which I have recording right now!

Big Ass Mother F-er!

Ya... don't even TRY to tell me that he was more afraid of me than I was of him. I saw him, I screamed, I ran in the other direction. When I returned with the trusty Swiffer, he charged right ahead to me.

Once he was squashed, he was still as big as my lens cap!!!

Tie-Erd!

Wow – am I ever feeling it tonight!

Today was the first day back to work after being off for eleven days. Now now, don’t get all excited – that is including weekends and the stat holiday! It was a busy time off, but a great break. A blog with vay-cay highlights will come along soon, but in the meantime I need some sleep! This first day back, coupled with not nearly enough sleep due to a late night visit from KEW (fresh from a dream about a dragon) has kicked my ass today! I gotta go and make lunches and then crawl in to my bed and see how much of my book I can manage before I crash!

Things happen when you have a kid.

A LOT of things happen - some really big, others not so much.

Many things I expected.

Even more that I never even considered.

Today, for the first time, I was washing out a tub of peanut butter because it was empty. Someone ate it all – and it wasn’t me. And I did the same thing with a jam jar a few weeks ago!

Normally I would be scooping out really dried up gross and hard peanut butter in to the garbage and then cleaning out the jar. I honestly can’t remember finishing one on my own. Ever.

Now I look for peanut butter in large jars and on sale. Some one likes it – a LOT.

Review Time - Wall Stickers

One of the things that I’ve always wanted to blog about is product/service reviews. I spent a lot of years working in the customer service industry and I firmly believe that if you love something, you’ll tell your close friends and family. If you hate something, you will tell the world!

Today is a good review… and I’m going to break the rules and share it with the world! Or the small handful of y’all that read my blog!

Day one of vaycay to dos includes some shopping in beautiful Sidney By The Sea. I hit quite a few places for quite a few reason, but one shop in particular that I was looking forward to was Cameron Rose. This isn’t a place that I can go with KEW… for many many years anyways. There are way too many things for her to touch and potentially break… and her curious nature just makes it way too dangerous! Although I have to admit that the store kinda let me down this time around as there seems to be more and more jewelry, less one of a kind unusual gifts and NONE of the purses appealed to me. There was a time that I couldn’t walk through that place without wanting pretty much anything. Maybe the store has changed… maybe it’s me.

Anyhow, I did find something that I had wanted for a great while – peel and stick wall decorations. I had been looking online at Room Mates, but once you add in the shipping… they are kinda pricy. The ones I found at Cameron Rose are great – a huge package for $10!!! They work well in the play room area and will be some nice colour and life as we move towards the “indoor” seasons! There was no brand name on the packaging… so I can’t make a recommendation that way… but I can say that I LOVE the concept and the results!

It's not easy being green...

No, this isn’t a post about frogs or lizards or alligators… it is about poop. Yup, this is what mothers talk about for the early years. How many times has your kid pooped, what consistency is the poop and of course, what color is the poop. Hey, what goes in must come out… and when your little one can’t tell you how they are feeling, poop often does it for them. Go ahead, run screaming from the building – do whatever you need to do.

So the home story from when I went on the wonderful weekend getaway to Vancouver is an interesting one. When I picked up KEW on Sunday, my mom asked “What has she being eating lately? Lots of broccoli or something?” To which I answered the silly question of “No, why?” That is when I learned about the green poop. I know, some of you mothers are thinking about the greenish hue that can come when there are a lot of blueberries or broccoli or spinach in the diet. Noooooo… not that kind of green… grass green – I mean REALLY REALLY green!

Once I saw the green later that day, my first instinct was playdoh. I checked the container we have here at home, but it was all full, so I assumed that there must have been green playdoh at Gingerbread on Friday.

On Monday morning I asked about the playdoh while we were doing the drop off routine. Nope, not green… yellow. Hmmmm… things are not fitting. So I warned them that KEW’s poop was pretty darn green, so not to be surprised when they are changing diapers.

On about my day doing the best I can to work while also trying to figure out where the heck the green was coming from! I so did not want to go to the Doctor as I didn’t even want to imagine the possible remedies for this problem. Oy, my girl was testing me with this one!

When I arrived at Gingerbread for the end of day pick up, I was greeted with some interesting news. During one of the diaper changes, they discovered the source of the green – a pastel. A fully intact green pastel had come out!!! Did you hear that – a FULLY INTACT pastel?!?!?!?! Holy crap (pun intended)! I don’t know about you, but I think that would be a little uncomfortable. There are a lot of twists and turns once you get past the stomach… how the heck does a pastel make it all the way through those little pipes with nary a complaint to be heard?

We still don’t know WHERE the pastel came from… but my guess is that wherever it is from, KEW was doing something she wasn’t supposed to and nearly got caught. Rather than reveal the evidence, my girl SWALLOWED it!

Excellent.
I’m so not looking forward to finding out what she swallows next time!

Things I love and things I hate…

Amazing friends.
Awesome parents.
Concerts.
Ikea
The River Rock Casino
London Fogs

Today, these are some of the things that I love the most.

Aside from KEW that is!!!

Lack of sleep.
Wolf spiders.
Not having shoes on when running in to wolf spiders.

These are things I hate… I mean I REALLY REALLY dislike these things!

This past weekend was the getaway with my BFFs R and C. Because I have the most awesome parents ever, I was able to go away for the weekend and do so worries free knowing my girl was probably having an awesome weekend as well. We headed over to Vancouver on the first boat Friday morning… which meant for an early wake up call. This is when I ran in to Spider #1. After sneaking to get some shoes to stomp him, I was up and going and ready for the weekend to begin!

Once we got to Vancouver we decided to try our hotel with the off chance that our room would be ready. The River Rock Casino Resort is incredible. The place is beautiful and the staff are truly first class. I really mean it – I am totally impressed with this place – and not just because I won $125 on the slots in the first half hour that we were there.

Once we cashed in my winnings, we headed over to one of the greatest places on earth... IKEA! I hadn’t been there in a long while… and since I just moved, there were some things that we needed around the house. My winnings also allowed me to get some things I wanted too! R, C and I did our usual routine at Ikea – walk around up top checking everything out and getting ideas, stop for lunch and then shop down below in the marketplace. Since we got to Vancouver early it allowed us to really take our time… about 4 hours. Needless to say, I had to use my side mirrors to drive as there was no way I was seeing out the back. And it’s a good thing Cindy is little… as it was a wee bit cozy back there!

We finally made it back to the hotel after picking up some munchies in Richmond (thanks to the iPhone GPS app finding us a grocery store!). The suite was great and the living room was the perfect setting for some appies, some martinis and some laughs. Then it was off to Michael Buble!

I’ve been to quite a few concerts now, and I have to say that he will definitely stay up at the top for most memorable. He is an amazing entertainer, a talented performer and dang funny. Not to mention generous – donating Friday’s show to the Children’s Hospital was a great way for him to come home! His opening act, Naturally 7, was pretty amazing as well. I had never even heard of them before, but I am definitely a fan now.

Saturday was The Beach Boys and Bryan Adams at the PNE. I have to admit that The Beach Boys (or what is left of them) were actually pretty good. They played way longer than I anticipated and they got the crowd all warmed up for Bryan. As usual, BA did not disappoint. It was my 4th time seeing him live and he definitely customized the set list this time to let the hometown crowd know that he was happy to be back.

The only thing that I would have done differently this weekend was to book Monday off as well – I am SO TIRED!!! Thank goodness for the Soy Milk London Fog this morning that has gotten me through the day!

Things I haven't done in a while...

I’m in a really good mood about a few things that I haven’t done in a while.

One of them happened this morning… I made cinnamon toast. I was trying yet another breakfast food for my KEW. She has a lot of her Mama in her, including being a bit of a picky eater. I admit to not having the best eating habits, but I’m working at changing them. One that has taken me a while is actually eating breakfast. That, along with a whack of vitamins per Dr. Bovee (the best NP ever!), is really making a difference on my energy levels through the day. So I am trying to make sure the kid gets some food in her in the morning – she is a goer, so she needs the energy! Anyhow, back to the cinnamon toast. P-Dub did a post a few months back about the right way to make cinnamon toast (http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/?s=cinnamon+toast)… and man my mouth was watering after reading it! I didn’t follow her method this morning, but boy oh boy did it ever taste G to the O and O to the D!!! I may just need to have another piece or two as a bedtime snack!!!

The other thing that I haven’t done in a while is a girl’s getaway... and part of that means a ferry ride. I honestly think the last time I took a ferry was when KEW was a couple of months old and the ladies (R and C) and I went to the big city to see our boys - Duran Duran! To not take the ferry for over a couple of years feels strange… us Islanders need to get off the rock on a regular basis in order to appreciate it! Maybe I did take the ferry between now and then, but I sure can’t remember it… which could be more of the impact of Mama brain!

So let’s get back to that girl’s get away – it is going to be a HUGE treat! My parents (the bestest people EVER) are taking KEW for the weekend to allow me and the chicks to get our concert on. Not just one show… TWO shows! Michael Buble is on Friday night and Bryan Adams is on Saturday afternoon. I honestly could not ask for a better line up – R, C, Michael and Bryan – I am the luckiest girl ever. Oh ya, and we are hitting up Ikea on Friday morning… one of my happiest places on earth! My wallet will be tight this time, but I’ll still have an awesome time!

Oh… I can hardly wait!

Some things go well together - others, not so much.

Strawberries and cream.
Vodka and cranberry.
Mashed potatoes and butter.
Apples and cinnamon.

I think you get my drift – some things go together perfectly. In fact, they can make you wonder why they aren’t a part of one another to begin with! Other things, well, let’s just say that together, they can make things challenging.

We know that kids and lack of sleep isn’t good. Nor is kids and lack of substantial food (e.g. protein). Well, the last few days have really proven to me that a preschooler/three-nager and really hot weather… they don’t do well together. I think it is because you get the combination of the lack of sleep and the lack of protein rolled in to one… and then it’s just hot and sticky. Not to mention that the Mama is hot and sticky and cranky too. It has made for a VERY long, hard day - one that I’m not really proud of or looking to repeat.

Born Again Breather

I don’t know if it is the born again breather (aka reformed smoker) coming to the surface again… or the mother of a child thing… but dang, I’ve been super frustrated by smokers lately!

The last few days I have had to follow smokers on the walk to the parking lot. With the breeze coming off the lagoon, you can’t help but smell the smoke even being back 20-30 feet. It made me mad that I had to walk through their stinky air… but made me madder that they were smoking in such a beautiful spot! I am so sick and tired of seeing the pathway and stairs on campus – a freaking National Historic Site – littered with cigarette butts. GROSS!

Today I watched a couple of young-ish gals taking a few smoke breaks in the area across from my office window. It was a quiet day, not a lot of people about, so they caught my attention a few times. I couldn’t help but think that these attractive young ladies looked so trashy and dirty while smoking. I’m guessing some thirty-something woman out there thought that about me at some time or another when I was smoking in my early twenties (which did not make me feel better)!

Then I had the conversation with myself of how to I make sure KEW doesn’t fall in to the smoking trap. I don’t have the answer to that one yet, but hopefully I have a few years yet!

My Kid ROCKS!

So let’s start this off by admitting that I’m a little hormonal. I’m just that kind of girl… sometimes I laugh, sometimes I cry, sometimes I do both and I don’t know why. Thank you for the words to describe my disorder Terri Clark.

It is the performance finale of So You Think You Can Dance tonight… and they did the retrospective of some of the memorable moments. There were a few dances this season that got to me and brought me to tears (I love it when art does that – {sigh})… and seeing even the few clips made me a little teary. KEW was allowed a few minutes of TV before bed time as part of our deal (AKA she was stalling and I caved as a parent as I wanted to see SYTYCD), and she was sitting on my lap during the clips.

She looked up at me, saw the weepy eyes and said “Mama, you sad?” along with a hugely concerned face and a big hug. So this of course made me full on cry. As I tried to explain that the dance was really special but it made me kind of sad… I then told her that my tears were happy tears now and thank you for the hug.

Ok, so she’s really confused… but I’m super proud and happy and all smiles. I have a compassionate daughter whom I love to the moon and back.

And she loves me too.

Tasty

It’s been said before in my life… and will likely be said again – I taste good. No, I don’t mean in a sparkly vampire kind of way (at least for now, until I meet a sparkly vampire)… but to insects. Or bugs. Or spiders. However the crawling and/or flying creature that bit me is classified. I woke up to an itchy sore leg yesterday morning and it has only gotten worse. I generally try not to think about what actually caused such pain as I really don’t want to know what was on my leg – big or small. It generally starts out with a small scratchy area… and within hours I have a red hot scratchy area with a blister like thing in the middle (or thereabouts).

So how does a bite like this get worse one might wonder? Well let me tell you. It starts with the idea of going to Michaels to run in and run out with a stepping stone project. That part went off without a hitch. The beginning of the challenge came when I decided that I would pop over to Shopper’s in the new Uptown Centre to pick up some antihistamines to help soothe the leg. So trying to find a path to the upper level of Uptown was not as easy as I would have thought as there is only one entrance and it is only accessible from the one way section of Blanshard. So around and around I go and finally get there.

Parking up there is great and I am right near the door, which should make for an easy trip in and out. Nope – I was wrong. Kaia was instructed that since we were going to be quick she would need to hold my hand as we wandered the aisles. While I was reading the overhead signs trying to locate the allergies section, she zipped out of my hand and starts a running down a long aisle. I tell her to stop, which she does, and then ask her to come back, which she doesn’t. She gets “that look” in her eyes – the one every mother knows to mean potential chaos. Luckily were in the baby aisle so I was easily able to distract her with a “look at this” and she came back. We then had another discussion about holding hands or having to go back to the car. She said she didn’t want to go back and yes, would hold my hand. That lasted about 30 second as we walked by a couple more aisles and I wondered to myself where the frack is the allergy medication. She darted again. I warned her again and told her it was the last time. She held my hand again and I found a small display of allergy medication. Really… this huge Shopper’s only has 2 brands of allergy medication? There must be more around here somewhere. As I am turning trying to find more, someone decides that she needs to touch every box. I ask her to stop. She said no and proceeds to melt down mode. Excellent. Not only can I not find what I’m looking for (really people, let’s get some better signage), I now have to manage the screams and fits of my child. So I did what I said I wouldn’t do… I left. I made a threat that I had to keep and thus had to sacrifice what I came there for to take my child out to the car and go home. Not until I first got stared at by numerous customers, staff and the dude in the parking lot sweeping up garbage.

So three is supposed to be worse than two huh? No wonder so many mothers drink the cheap wine… they need the volume discount.

Gingerbread

Ever have so much on your mind you don’t know where to start? I’m sure many a woman out there can relate to the multi-tasking brain and sentences jumbling over each other in your mind as you try to pull the various subjects together in to something that makes sense. I’ve heard that men don’t do the multi-tasking thing well and can really only tackle one train of thought at a time. So I’m just saying that anyone with a bit more testosterone in their system might not get where I’m coming from. Anyhoo… where to go with all this? I’m thinking I’m going to steal from my favorite blogger, P-Dub, and just do a bulleted mind dump!

• Blogging… I haven’t done much (ok, any) lately. I do miss it… but just haven’t made time for it. My resolution is to do more. The online journaling and putting my “stuff” out there to the world… I think it’s a good thing. Plus a few of the blogs I read regularly have been talking about the Blogher conference in New York this week… so it got me to the site and it looks like a really interesting conference. Not that I can afford a trip to NYC… or the conference… but the concept keeps resonating with me to do something else with my life. R and I have talked about online businesses many a time… but just haven’t done it yet.
  


• Gingerbread. Gingerbread. Gingerbread. {sigh} Never before did I think that word would bring such a smile to my face! KEW started at Gingerbread Daycare this week and the first three days have been AWE-SOME! KEW is happy, routine is back in our life, Mama is happy – we SO needed this!!!
  


• Hot. Holy crap batman… it is so hot and muggy today! I am extremely thankful that my office is on the cool side of the building – I was even wearing a sweater until after lunch. But walking down to my car after work… the air is HOT! And the air quality… not so good. We have the tangerine sun and haze in the air that shows way too many fires burning in this region. I can feel it… my body doesn’t like this. I can’t even imagine what folks closer to the fires are going through. The mainland had an air quality warning on today – telling people not to do any strenuous exercise outside, especially if they have bad lungs. That’s not good. Smoke and smog don’t mix well. I hate to say it, but dang we could use some rain to help clear the air and stop some fires!
  


• Home is such a good place for us now. I only have a few more pictures to put on the wall, and then a few organizational and decorating touches to finish off… and then we are officially settled. I LOVE it here… really LOVE it! Everything happens for a reason and when it is supposed to… I’ve believed that for a long time, and I continue to do so now.
  Today my boss told me that my hair looked good and I looked years younger. I decided to encourage the curl instead of the blow out. It’s faster and hides the grey better. I like it… a little more playful… and heck, if people are going to tell me it makes me look younger, I’ll take it!
  


• Geez… 10 minutes until So You Think You Can Dance. Geez I love that show… it so feels like summer! And there is always at least a dance or two that bring me to tears. I love it when art expresses emotion.
  


• Art… dang, I so haven’t done any art for myself in years. Unless you count my doodling. I doodle a lot. It helps me in meetings when I need to keep my mouth shut. I really do need to invest in a nice doodle book to carry around… to capture that new form of art. Excellent… another thing on my to do list!

Alright, that is it for now. I need to get myself organized for the day tomorrow and get that TV turned on for my show!

Gonna be a better me than anyone else!

OK... so we all know I'm not a big religious gal (ok, at all)... but aside from all of the God references in this song, it has always been one that I love. Was listening to it - I mean really listening to the words - on the drive home tonight.

A couple inches taller
Another size smaller
A little curl in my hair
Used to wish I was older
Now I wish I was younger
Back when I didn't have a care
Most of the time I am happy with what God gave me
Once in a while I wish that some miracle would change me

I'm ok with the way God made me
I have my days but doesn't everybody
It's not always easy for me to believe in myself
But I gotta remember
I'm always gonna be a better me than anyone else
And God doesn't make mistakes

Mama says I'm special
Calls me her little angel
Yeah, I could almost do no wrong
But I trip and stumble
Guess that's what keeps you humble
But I pick myself up and I carry on
I'll never be a flawless model of perfection
Nobody's perfect and I admit I'm no exception

I'm ok with the way God made me
I have my days but doesn't everybody
It's not always easy for me to believe in myself
But I gotta remember
I'm always gonna be a better me than anyone else
And God doesn't make mistakes

I'm thankful for the rainy days
They only make the sunshine sweeter

I'm ok with the way God made me
I have my days but doesn't everybody
It's not always easy for me to believe in myself
But I gotta rememberI'm always gonna be a better me than anyone else
And God doesn't make mistakes

I so love it when a song just hits ya... and says, well, everything. Thank goodness for music! And Carolyn Dawn Johnson who wrote this song. And for reminding me that ya, I'm always going to be the best me there is... and that's a good thing!

Foggy Mirror

The New Year is supposed to be a time of fresh starts… but right now I’m fogging up the mirror that I’m reflecting in. Things are cutting a little too close right now… so I’m not sure that I’m happy with what I see – or what to do about it.

My cousin and brother got engaged over the holiday season (no, not to each other). Is that a good thing? Ya, sure – I’m happy for them. How does that make me feel? Well, honestly, rather crappy. Of course it’s not intentional, but it does serve as a reminder that not only am I no where near a wedding, I’m not even close to a relationship. Do I have wonderful comments like “when are you going to find someone and get married?” to look forward to… gee, only if I’m really lucky.

I’m not happy with where I’m living. Every day seems to be a constant reminder that I am living in a rental suite… and in no way shape or form can I get in to the housing market right now. Yes, I know, a ton of people are in this same situation… doesn’t make me feel any better. I hate that I can’t afford to be in a place of our own for KEW and myself. I mean really hate it.

My job isn’t the place I want to be… but it is a place I need to be. I need those vacation and sick days, those benefits, that pension and that “history” that allows me to call in working from home when necessary because my kid is sick. Again, I know that this is how things work for the majority of the population… but it doesn’t make things feel any happier. Yes, I know that I’m lucky to have a job. I’m having a pity party – let me be!

I was told last night by a close friend that “I scare her”… or something to that effect (let’s just say I had lost count if which cocktail we were on by then). Ouch… that’s a bitter and hard pill to swallow – no matter what the comment was! I’ve never been one to have a lot of friends… more to have a few close friends… am I really that scary? Has that “tough exterior” I’ve built up over the years gotten too tough? Yikes!

So what am I going to do about this and why am I writing about this? Not sure… guess I’m just putting it out in to the Universe… to see what I do with it.

Oy…